Tuesday, 18 August 2015
The Spectre of SPECTRE
Last year I did something I called the 'James Bond Poster Project'. Inspired by Vintage Books' gorgeous covers (you really should judge these by their cover), I decided to do a poster for each James Bond movie I didn't do it to sell and make any money, I just did it because I love James Bond and drawing stuff. This was the result:
Lovely. But James Bond never rests, not even in bed, because he's too busy shagging the ladies. Later this year this 24th adventure, SPECTRE, is released, and more sheets will be creased. And ooh I am excited! So much so that I dusted off the Poster Project and designed a new one, based solely on the trailer. When I see the movie, I'll obviously design something else. For now though, this will do and satisfy the completist in me:
As with all the others, it's meant to be a stripped-down, uncomplicated representation of Bond's adventures. The trailer strongly implies that SPECTRE have been working in the shadows and controlling Bond's life for a long while - Christoph Waltz (surely Blofeld?) declares himself the author of all Bond's pain. So at top we have the SPECTRE (Specialist Executive for Counter-Terrorism, Revenge, and Extortion, snazzy) logo, its tendrils turning into strings which control a puppet Bond, his own weapon turned against him, emphasising how apparently helpless Bond is in the face of a massive organisation, while also tangled up in it.
It's a very clean, stylised culmination of what started out as Bond being caught in the tendrils of the SPECTRE symbol, an idea which I thought looked good, but couldn't make work without losing the design of the SPECTRE symbol, at which point it was in danger of looking more like Hokusai's 'The Dream of The Fisherman's Wife'.
So it's okay. And that's okay, This is a temporary, a stop-gap, and after 06/11/15, I'll come up with something better. Until then, this is good enough. A spectre of the forthcoming SPECTRE.
Thanks for reading.
Posted by Rob Smedley at 21:59 0 comments
Labels: 007, Bond Poster Project, James Bond
Thursday, 9 April 2015
He Came At Her With An Axe
Occasionally I write a short story. This is one of them.
He Came At Her With
An Axe
Michigan, 1989
He came at her with an axe, so she shot him dead.
That was an hour ago. Now she sat on the kitchen floor, as far away
from his body as she could position herself, and watched his corpse
and wondered what to do next. The panic had subsided, the trembling
had ceased. Now she was becoming methodical.
The gun had immediately been dropped in the empty sink. It had been
the first time she had fired the damn thing. It had been loud – so
damn loud – but there hadn't been as much blood as she's thought.
Lot of spray on the walls, yes, but nothing that couldn't be wiped
away. She'd clean soon, although she now realised that she should
have done it straight away because blood was tough to shift when it
dried. 'Coca-Cola works', Mom had told her once, but she didn't drink
Coke. It tasted like robot piss.
She'd been quick to mop up what had pooled around his body.
Fistfuls of kitchen paper towels, thick and glistening with red,
were clumped together in a bucket by his body. A blood-stained pair
of Marigolds hung over the tap. He'd stopped leaking now. She'd have
to bleach the floor later and she hated the smell of bleach.
Could she go to the police? Would they believe her? Perhaps. Most of
it would be truth. It had been self-defence. It had. She had invited
him round. He'd had the axe hidden in the coat folded over his arm,
and the bastard had only revealed it when the latch had clicked
behind him and he was in the living room and being offered a drink.
All that was true. Yes. Yeah she could tell them that. The living
room would corroborate that. Now that the door had been hacked off
its hinges she could see straight through to the splintered coffee
table, and the stuffing and springs popping out of the couch. He'd
swung wildly to scare her at first, reciting the Lord's Prayer as he
smashed into the china hutch and the TV and the stereo. Fucking
weirdo. The Lord's Prayer? She could tell the cops that too.
Religious nutjob. She'd emphasise nutjob – 'Nut. Job' - and then be
sure to point to the crucifix tangled round his neck. The first time
she'd seen it was when she'd been clearing him up.
The gun. No. The gun. She couldn't account for the gun. They would
charge her for possession and she'd be taken in. There'd be photos
and statements and CCTV. No, she couldn't do that. She couldn't go to
prison. She'd only bought the damn thing for this kind of home
invasion shit that Patsy had told her about. She never thought she'd
have to use it. Why would Patsy have one? No one would invade fucking
Patsy and her cats. Now she could see the shell casing lying just under the
refrigerator. Oh thanks, Patsy.
No, she couldn't go the cops. There was a bucket of his soaked-up
blood lying next to him and that wouldn't look good. She'd have to
move him.
Shit.
He was a tall guy and he looked heavy, and he would leak while she
dragged him. More bleach. Where could she put him? The spare room?
No. But...the chest freezer in the basement was big enough for him.
She might have to snap some parts of him, but yeah...yeah he would
fit. She had a good hammer. He'd break up easy. She'd bag all the
food and put it in the garbage and then she'd wrap him in trash bags
and drag him downstairs and break him up. She'd throw the gun under
him too. She wished she'd never listened to Patsy. Fucking Patsy.
Jeez, but he looked heavy. She didn't know why she'd said yes to him
in the first place. She wouldn't want that lurching up and down on
her. But he'd been so charming, with his 'watching you for months,
been dying to introduce myself' shit. Bastard. She should've read the
signs. Mom had taught her how to spot the predators, but this flash
prick with his coffee and his beard and his mountaineering stories
and his hidden crucifix...he'd slipped under her sights. Well, fuck
him and his 'art in Heaven' and his fucking carabiners. His axe was
still under his hand. It looked like the kind of thing you stabbed at
mountains. She'd use that to fit him in the freezer, better than a
hammer, and then toss it in with him. Mountain fucker.
Now here was a list of things to do and she was happy. She realised
how hungry she was. The dinner she had made for the two of them had
burned and congealed in its pan on the stove. It smelled terrible and
it still didn't cover up the smell of the blood. Hunger pulled at her
stomach. Hunger like she had resisted for years now. She had been so
good for so many years, but now that rich metallic stink was in her
nostrils and she could feel her heart beating faster and faster...
She crawled forward and pulled the bucket of blood and kitchen paper
close. She sat back and pushed her hand in – it all still felt so
surprisingly soft and warm - and pulled out a hunk. It glistened in
the kitchen lights. She held it there in her hands, feeling the wet
and weight of it. Then slowly, gently, she pushed her lips against it
and began to suck out the red. And when that wasn't enough she
stuffed the kitchen towels in her mouth and ate them, blood and paper
running down her throat as a pink mash. The endorphin rush hit her
and she felt her fangs break through. Saliva dribbled down her chin.
Her upper lip curved over her sharp new teeth in pleasure. She'd
missed this. Oh sweet relief! She had been so good for so long and
she had missed this. Fuck, it tasted good. It had been years and it
tasted so fucking good. Her hands plunged into the bucket.
Posted by Rob Smedley at 17:31 0 comments
Labels: Story
Friday, 29 August 2014
'Well it's about time...'
Been a while since I've done one of these holiday posters. To celebrate The Twelfth Doctor's arrival, I thought I'd do a new one. Welcome back, Doctor.
Posted by Rob Smedley at 16:25 0 comments
Labels: Doctor Who
Tuesday, 19 August 2014
And now for a very short story about Tortilla nothing much else
Once in a blue moon I put a very short story I have written on here, more to pad out what has become an occasional blog than anything else. It started with this one, The Clockwork Heart. This one is about tortilla, often known as 'Spanish Omelette' over here, and is for my good friend Chris.
'Tortilla'
Cross-legged on the
warm terracotta, Pablo and his father sat in the doorway of their
home and ate the tortilla they had cooked together. Somewhere behind
them, beyond the single wicker armchair and the table and the radio
that crackled with sport from the city, the frying pan sputtered and
cooled.
It was a simple
meal and they ate with their hands. The thick wedges of tortilla were
still hot. The bread was fresh and the olives bitter and salty. Pablo
had already devoured the single slice of ham his father had cut for
him. Both of them drank Rioja from glass tumblers, the young boy's
being topped up with a good amount of water. The bottle and jug stood
beside his father's empty work boots.
The short garden in
front of them was parched yellow. Both father and son spat their
olive stones into it, making silent competition of who could make
furthest. The orange tree near the front gate had turned crooked and
brittle two summers ago. An axe lay next to it in the scrub. Despite
his talk Pablo's father had yet to chop it down. Pablo was sure it
would make fruit again next summer. He spat an olive stone in its
direction.
The sun was falling
toward the horizon and everything was golden and shadow. The air was
warm on their faces and sweet and dusty with a full day's work. In
the valley below them a tractor moved along the dirt road between the
vineyards green and golden. An occasional breeze wafted the smell of
the vines and the soil up the hill and into the garden. The orange
tree did not stir.
On the radio a
cheer rose and dissolved into static. Pablo looked back into the
empty house. The shutters were closed and it was cool and gloomy. His
father topped up both their glasses with the Rioja.
'Miguel says this
year will be a good harvest. We will have to work hard and work long
hours. But this is a good reward.'
'The tortilla is
good too,' Pablo said.
'The best tortilla
is simple. It is onion and potato and egg. The widow Diaz puts
peppers in hers but she is wrong,' Pablo's father picked up a
triangle of the thick tortilla. Strong white teeth broke it. He
caught a chunk of potato that fell toward his lap and popped it in
his mouth.
Pablo watched his
father and ate. His mouth was dry. He gulped at the wine and wiped
his lips with his forearm as he had learned to imitate from his
father.
'Your grandmother
never put peppers in hers,' his father continued. 'My father and I
liked that. People must always make things so complicated now. No
respect for simple things. No appreciation.' He took a bite of
tortilla and then wiped his fingers on his overalls. 'It is the
simple things which are the best. Sun. Wine. Tortilla. These are the
things people enjoy coming home to.'
He took a chunk of
the bread and mopped up the oil from the tortilla on his plate. Pablo
did as he did.
'Senor Alvaro says
widow Diaz makes the best tortilla in the village.'
'Alvaro drinks too
much. He thinks it is endearing,' Pablo's father chewed as he spoke.
His mouth was thick with bread and oil. 'He'll eat anywhere he can.
He hardly notices what he is eating. He is like a dog.'
'I think he was
eating with Senorita Pilar last night. He woke me up with his
singing.'
'Yes. Drunk. Fat
and drunk. Your teacher should know better than to feed him.'
'He was not always
drunk, was he papa? Senor Alvaro used to drink orange juice. I saw
him.'
There was another
cheer from the radio. This time Pablo did not look around.
'Eat,' his father
said. With one of his great brown hands he placed another piece of
the tortilla on his son's plate. 'And drink the wine, it is good. You
are a growing boy. Grow up strong.'
'Like you father?'
Pablo's father spat
an olive stone onto the prickly yellow grass and took a sip of his
wine. He washed it around his mouth and swallowed. All the time he
was gazing out at the vineyards on the hillsides and the tractor
crawling away between the shadows. The sun was touching the highest
undulations of the horizon now. Everything below the burning sky was
dark and green. Hot and mysterious. High on the hill, father and son
sat in the last of that day's light and witnessed the night creeping
up behind them. Suddenly Pablo felt very far away from his father and
it scared him.
'It is very good
papa,' he announced in between bites. 'Much better than the widow's.'
The frying pan had
cooled. The radio continued to play. The air was still warm. Pablo's
father took another long draught on the Rioja. A little of it dripped
from his bottom lip. He wiped it away with his forearm and looked
down at the slices of onion and potato and egg. The light was fading
fast around them now. His father's head remained bowed.
'I am sure your
mother will come home. Soon she will', his father said. 'When we were first
married she made the best tortilla.'
Posted by Rob Smedley at 21:07 0 comments
Labels: Story
Monday, 19 May 2014
Sunday, 18 May 2014
Friday, 16 May 2014
Monsters & Words
Earlier this year, before the Bond posters, I did a project called 'Monsters & Words', where I drew the silhouette of a famous monster/creature from 19th century fiction, and then stuck a choice quote from their novel next to them. It turned out quite well (as in, I actually sold a few without even really planning). They'll be going on sale individually to everyone later this year. For now, here's all 9 collected together.
Top (left to right): Jekyll & Hyde, Frankenstein's Creature, The Invisible Man
Middle: Dracula, the Giant Poulp, Dorian Gray. Bottom: She, a Martian, a Morlock.
Posted by Rob Smedley at 06:00 0 comments
Labels: Monsters & Words
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