Saturday, 31 July 2010

Grandpa T-Rex...

...had it tough as a child.

Friday, 30 July 2010

Grandpa T-Rex...

...tests out his home-made robot.

Thursday, 29 July 2010

Grandpa T-Rex...

...does not plan on evolving any time soon.

Wednesday, 28 July 2010

Grandpa T-Rex...

...fights his nemesis at the Reichenbone Falls.

(based on the famous Sherlock Holmes illustration by Sydney Paget)

Tuesday, 27 July 2010

Grandpa T-Rex...

...used to work for FED-REX Delivery.

Monday, 26 July 2010

Grandpa T-Rex...

...does not query Dinosaur Romance novels

Sunday, 25 July 2010

Grandpa T-Rex...

...runs meetings of 'Herbivores Anonymous' for desperate carnivores.

Saturday, 24 July 2010

Grandpa T-Rex...

...used to be an Air Accident Investigator.

Friday, 23 July 2010

Grandpa T-Rex...

...likes practicing comic book sound effects.

Thursday, 22 July 2010

Comics Review: 'Parker: The Man with the Getaway Face'

I read a lot of comics and graphic novels, but I know some of you don't. Maybe you'd like to. If so, Comics Review is something new I'm starting to help you navigate the world of stuff drawn on paper. If you're a seasoned comics reader then at best this'll be a recommendations spot. Over the next few weeks I'll be writing about some comics, trade paperbacks and hardcovers that you might like to try, as well as some cartoon compilation books that you may not be familiar with. It's all part of an effort to inject some more cartooniness into this 'cartoon blog'. I hope you like it. If there's a comic, cartoon strip or anything like that that you love and would like to recommend then do let me know. I'm always on the lookout for new things to read and possibly write about. Anyway, on with the show, starting with a SPOILER FREE review of...

'Parker: The Man with the Getaway Face'

Writer: Adapted by Darwyn Cooke from Richard Stark's work.

Artist: Darwyn Cooke

Publisher: IDW

Price: $2/£1:55

Pages: 24

In his introduction to Parker: MwtGF, Darwyn Cooke is very clear about what you're getting for your $2 - " oversized, underpriced bitch-slap...", and he's absolutely correct. If 'Parker: The Hunter' was the 'shotgun blast to the chest' then this is the pistol to the temple; quick, neat, and shocking.

MwtGF advertises itself as a prelude to the forthcoming Parker graphic novel 'The Outfit', and within the first three pages sets up and explains everything you'd need to know moving from The Hunter to The Outfit (the 'clue' is in this issue's title). After that the rest of the story is your simple heist plot as Parker raises himself some cash by robbing a bank truck with a couple of old associates. It's an unremarkable plot made remarkable by Cooke's artwork and visual layout. It's in the art that you'll really fall in love with this book. He has a big canvas to work with too - the book is an impressive 12 x 8. The paper is of a good heavy grade, giving it a real feeling of quality that you wouldn't expect for $2. Publishers IDW have been very generous in all aspects of this one-shot publication.

From the titles of the very first page to the final frame there's a filmic quality about MwtGF that's reminiscent of the 5os and 60s spy and crime movies. Every page, from Parker riding at the back of a tram car, to sitting in a diner reading a paper, has a 'straight from the screen' quality to it. It's something that really shines in those completely wordless sections. I'm yet to see an artist who communicates action so economically and clearly as Cooke does. Entire pages are conducted without a single speech bubble, each frame a perfect snapshot of events. Not one word of Richard Stark's dialogue is wasted, and when it is put to use it's as neat and uncompromising as a shot of bourbon. And it's all presented through a saffron yellow lens that perfectly suits the dry heat of the setting. We've moved on from the gun-metal green shading that permeated New York in The Hunter and it'll be interesting to see what colour dominates The Outfit. It's a bold style that suits this series thematically and aesthetically and one only Cooke could pull off so well.

The few characters that are in the book are well-rounded, although it's clear that its Parker who is the star of this show. He's still that hard-bitten man who commands fear and respect in equal measure and once again gets his chance to demonstrate why you don't ever want to cross him. If there's such a thing as honour among thieves Parker enforces it with a cold brutality that you can't help but admire.

My only complaint is that there isn't more of this. I was left wanting more. A lot more. But that means this little prelude has done its job. It gives its readers just a taste to get them hooked before the next big hit. The Outfit is out in just over two months and I'm afraid you have no choice but to wait for it.

Parker: The Man with the Getaway Face: 9/10

Grandpa T-Rex...

...used to perform magic.

Wednesday, 21 July 2010

Grandpa T-Rex...

...buys his grandkids' love.

Tuesday, 20 July 2010

Grandpa T-Rex...

...has mastered the art of inception.

Monday, 19 July 2010

Grandpa T-Rex...

...hates it when people talk during the movie.

Sunday, 18 July 2010

Grandpa T-Rex...

...attempts to help his friends escape from the Retirement Home.

Saturday, 17 July 2010

Grandpa T-Rex...

...will ruin your fun.

Friday, 16 July 2010

Grandpa T-Rex...

...should have bought the Bumper case.

Thursday, 15 July 2010

BWAAAAOOOOOM!' Dare to dream a little bigger darling, cos it's Rob's Random 5!

Good day to you! This week I'll be invading your dreams and planting thoughts about chicken, Sherlock Holmes, movies, Freakonomics and comics. Don't fight it; your mind is the scene of the Random 5! 'BWAAAOOOOM!'

Nandon't: Religion. I don't like it, but hey, some people do and as long as you're not some Bible n' Bandolier zealot then I'm fine with it. Follow your faith and may it bring you comfort. And there are alot of religions you can adhere to: Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Jedi, Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Paganism, why a whole Holy host of them. Lately though there's a new player on the block. It's places of worship are many and it's congregation numerous. It takes your money gladly and in return will fill you with a feeling of fullness and well-being. No, it's not New Mormonology, it's the Church of Nando's, and it's followers are Legion. Because lately everyone seems to talk, no enthuse, about Nando's as though it were the best thing since shoes, or mobile phones. They've been and tasted the menu's offerings and - Hallelujah! - they have been converted. The scales have fallen from their eyes onto their bone-strewn plates and the light they see is in the shape of a chicken. Now 'poultry-based proselytisation' is a term I never thought I'd ever use, but then I never thought I'd see people enthuse over chicken like it was the Second Coming with drumsticks.
Thing is, I don't understand it. I've been to Nando's once. Only once, but it was enough to form an opinion. I didn't choose to go there but I ended up there. I ordered the chicken, I ate the chicken. Was it good chicken? Indeed it was. Was it an amazing culinary experience? No. Really, no. It was just chicken. Chicken in a sauce, that's all. My brother used to work there, cooking the chicken, and he agrees with me it is just chicken. There's no secret. Jesus has not blessed it. God has not cooked it and seasoned it with magic spices. Can I emphasis this enough? It was just chicken.
So why do people treat a trip to Nando's as a real treat? Why do they talk of it as 'a special tea', somewhere to take the girlfriend, or - God help us all - something to Facebook about? Why do they enthuse about it with sparkly-eyed, greasy-fingered zeal, as though they have discovered some all-saving culinary religion? After all, lots of restaurants serve chicken and lots do it better than Nando's. Is it the service? Well no, as you have to trek from your table up to the counter to order like at a McDonalds. Is it the faux South American surroundings? Come on, I'm not even going to answer that. Is it that it's simple food that's tasty? Obviously it is, but other restaurants - restaurants with actual proper waiters who'll ask if you want more wine or a pudding - make tasty food and you don't hear people banging on about Ask or Frankie & Benny's. I really can't fathom why there's such a devotion to Nando's over other equally ubiquitous restaurants of similar quality. Can you explain it?
The only reason I can think of is that it maybe is just faith: faith in the knowledge that whatever town you're in you can go to a restaurant that's the same as it is in Swindon or Salisbury and have a tasty piece of fowl at a decent price. It won't be glamorous, it won't be a meal to remember, but it'll keep the kids quiet and you know it'll satisfy you. And in that sense of engendered comfort and satisfaction Nando's is a lot more like a Church than you might realise. A big, depressing church of chicken. Just don't expect me to ever join the congregation there. I'll be down the road worshipping at an independent restaurant with a good wine list and a specials board.

Ham Radio: Last Christmas I was given the Complete Sherlock Holmes on DVD. It's the collection of the fourteen Holmes movies made in the 1930s and 40s and starring the legendary Basil Rathbone and Nigel Bruce. And they are fantastic. For the two weeks after Christmas my dad and I watched one a night - big TV, lights off; if we'd filled the room with cigarette smoke and worried murmurs about the Nazis it'd have been just like being in a cinema in 1940. If you've never seen one of the old Sherlock Holmes films you're missing out. You can pick any of them up on DVD for two quid at HMV, or as they're now public domain you can download them free and legally. Free! I'd recommend any of them, but especially 'The Spider-Woman', 'Pursuit to Algiers' and 'Terror By Night'. Just for now though here's the trailer for the superb 'The Scarlet Claw' (WooooOoooOoo!)

Great stuff. Well acted, twisty-suspenseful plots, occasionally hilarious, I love them. Basil Rathbone, with diction so crisp you could split an infinitive on it, is a perfect Holmes, and Bruce plays up the comedic side of Watson with a loveably bumbling portrayal. They're something the whole family can enjoy and at just over an hour long there's not a minute wasted. All too soon my dad and I had watched them all and were sad that there weren't more. But then I discovered the Sherlock Holmes radio plays that were produced in the 40s and also starred Rathbone and Bruce. About fifty episodes in all and they're as classic as old radio plays can get. If you've seen the 'Nightmare Inn' episode of Frasier you'll understand. They're half an hour long and while a little 'exposition-y' in places ("Look out Holmes, there's a man coming through the door! He's raising a gun to point at us!") the mystery/story is solid and the voice acting excellent. There's atmospheric organ music, classic radio sound effects, and a genial announcer who won't shut up about Petri wine. If you're after something to listen to while in the car or in bed (I listen to them while cooking) you should definitely give them a try. Best of all they're free and legal to download (public domain again, see). If you have iTunes you can find them there, and if not you can download them here at Botar's Old Time Radio, or here at the Sherlock Holmes Public Library. As I say there are a lot of episodes to choose from, so if you just want one to try out then go for 'The Out of Date Murder' or 'The Paradol Chamber'. Both are very good indeed.
If you do watch any of the films or listen to any of the radio plays then absolutely let me know. I'd love to know what you think of them.

Grrr...Kids: I want to see Toy Story 3 when it comes out. So do a lot of my friends. Unfortunatley, as it's a 'kids movie' (even though Pixar don't pander to demographics) parents will be taking their kids to see it. Now, I hate kids. No, that's not strictly true. I hate the kids of people I don't know. What I especially hate is having to sit in a cinema with kids as they always jabber and squirm in their seats and ask their parents questions about the plot and just generally detract from the moviegoing experience with their lack of movie theatre decorum. Parents, you may as well take a gibbon in with you for all the attention your kids pay and the noise they make. And why should people without children have to put up with the noisy loin-spawn of some desperate couple? We've paid the same admission and deserve to enjoy the film without your son/daughter's garbled, candy-stuffed commentary. Hey! This ain't Mystery Science Theatre, sweetheart!
So what do do? Well - and I don't know if this is an actual thing yet - but why not have 'no children allowed' screenings of Toy Story 3? That's right, showings of the film just for adults. Toy Story is fifteen years old so many of you out there will have grown up with it. You'll have been kids at the first one, teens during the second, and now adults for the third. We've grown up with Andy and his toys. Just because you saw the first as a kid why do you have to suffer through sequels surrounded by noisy toddlers and texting tweens? We were here first! Why can't we sit with like-minded people who'll appreciate the legacy and memories of Buzz and Woody; people who didn't get that coveted Buzz Lightyear action figure for Christmas the first time round? So for all us nostalgic twentysomethings who saw the first Toy Story when we were kids, lets us have the joyous peace of a 'no kids allowed' screening. No one under 18 permitted. Heck, I'd pay extra for it. Let those foolish adults with whining, drooling gibbon-children suffer through the ceaseless kerfuffle of a normal screening. But let me, a big kid at heart, enjoy a film that captured and shaped my imagination so many years ago. Because the last thing I want is to have my childhood spoiled by children.

Le Freak, c'est chic: Here's my book recommendation for the month. I did Economics at A-Level and while there are aspects of it that are very interesting there are also great swathes of it that are dull, so you might be reluctant to read a book that has a basis in economics. But Freakonomics and its sequel SuperFreakonomics are only economics books in the way they use the principles of economics (don't be put off by that phrase) to examine and explain everyday events and odd occurences. In the authors' Levitt & Dubner's words they explore 'the hidden side of everything'. Cool stuff, like how you can catch a terrorist simply by looking at their banking habits, why drug dealers live with their mums, and why a department store santa is like a prostitute. SuperFreakonomics also covers what to my mind is THE GREATEST EXPERIMENT EVER: teaching Capuchin monkeys how to use money. The consequences of the experiment are startling, and not in the way you might think. The books show you how things are always more intricate than they first appear, but can be simply explained just by looking at the raw data. Take for instance the sudden crime drop in America in the 1970s and how it was caused by an event that had nothing to do with increased policing or tougher gun laws; the landmark Supreme Court case of Roe vs Wade. Suddenly the poor single mothers who would have likely had children that would have fallen into a life of crime could have an abortion legally. The result? There were simply fewer criminals being born. Amazing. It's that cause and effect, whether created by money or morals or both, which Freakonomics deals with so well. Once you start reading you'll see how the oddest things are connected, and how some of the greatest problems facing Humanity can be solved with the simplest, cheapest solutions.
Beyond the books there are also the Freakonomics podcasts available free on iTunes, and the Freakonomics blog. As with the books they're very readable (or listenable), clearly written, funny, and informative. They cover everything from radio stations to seatbelts to counterfeit wine. I guarantee you'll come away feeling smarter.

Remember where we 'Parker'-ed: Finally, to see you off, here's a treat; a brief preview of Darwyn Cooke's 'Parker: The Man With The Getaway Face'. The 24 page 12 x 8 comic is out now and as well as being a self-contained story, acts as a prelude to the graphic novel 'The Outfit', released here in October. Copies of 'The Hunter' sold out at a blistering pace, so I'm already pre-ordering a copy. I know I keep banging on about how good Darywn Cooke is, so I think you'll have got the message by now. Just buy it. Here's the preview. That first page with him looking in the mirror is one of the most beautiful openers to a comic I've ever seen/read.

Well that's all for the Random 5 this time. 'BWAAAOOOOM' for now!

Grandpa T-Rex...

...has just wasted five hours.

Wednesday, 14 July 2010

Grandpa T-Rex...

(Oh of all the 'There Will Be Blood' jokes I could have done, this one stood out the most. And for those of you poor unfortunates who haven't seen one of the best films ever, Grandpa T-Rex is definitely not finished. He'll be back tomorrow. After all, he still hasn't drunk your milkshake yet.)

Tuesday, 13 July 2010

Grandpa T-Rex...

...has trouble opening cans.

Monday, 12 July 2010

Grandpa T-Rex... on his fourth dentist this year.

Sunday, 11 July 2010

Grandpa T-Rex...

...has just discovered texting.

Saturday, 10 July 2010

Grandpa T-Rex...

...takes a creative writing class.

Friday, 9 July 2010

Grandpa T-Rex...

...resents having to take his grandson to a fancy dress party.

Thursday, 8 July 2010

Grandpa T-Rex...

...has a near-death 'complaint'.

Wednesday, 7 July 2010

Grandpa T-Rex...

...enjoys his new medication.

Tuesday, 6 July 2010

All the strange, strange creatures...


Last month Helen and I went to the Doctor Who exhibition at the Life Centre in Newcastle. We're both big fans (admittedly, I'm the far geekier of the two of us) and it was a great afternoon. The exhibit is packed with props and, monsters and costumes from series 1-4 and also the recently aired and superior series 5, meaning you can get up close to a Silurian, stare into the face of a Weeping Angel, and gaze in awe at a certain companion's kissogram police uniform. There are plenty of facts and clips from the shows playing as you go around too, meaning something to interest you at every turn. Disappointingly there's very little Time Lord-iness to see, with no Ninth Doctor costume of Tenth Doctor coat, or anything from 'The End of Time' episode, but that's only a very, very small quibble, and it's more than made up for by the excellent Dalek Room, where you're surrounded by moving Daleks and threatened with extermination in a neat three minute scene. I took a ton of pictures, and I won't bore you with them all, but here are some of the more interesting ones:
K9, and a hideous alien

"Smile!" A Smiler

A Sontaran

Matt Smith's Eleventh Doctor costume, and on the right, his predecessor's raggedy outfit.

The TARDIS, crashed into a shed, as in 'The Eleventh Hour'.


The very cool 'Ironside' Dalek.

"Don't blink!" A Weeping Angel.

I'll admit that the Weeping Angel was by far my favourite piece of the exhibit. Yep, even more than the Dalek (and Daleks are smaller in real life than I expected). The thing sent a chill down my spine, especially as it's set in a strobing section of Byzantium hull, just as in the episode 'Flesh and Stone'. Some of the exhibits are push-button interactive, the most dazzling (in every sense of the word) being the Cybermen display, while other exhibits will move and jerk when you don't expect them to, recreating the classic shocks of the show. I was taken off-guard by an Auton and nearly jumped out of my skin. I won't tell you everything that's in the exhibition as that would ruin the surprise and child-like wonder that wandering around the place elicits, but there's barely an alien from recent years that isn't included (there is a notable and popular one, and I'm not sure why it isn't present...). Other highlights include River Song's dress, a display on how an Ood is made, and the chilling Vashta Nerada 'skeleton in a spacesuit'. In fact, the sheer amount of stuff there made me realise just how skilled the designers, concept artists and production crew of the show are in creating vivid and memorable aliens over the course of each series. Stop and think about it for a moment and you really appreciate their diligence.

If you're in Newcastle and you have a couple of hours spare then I'd urge you to pay the exhibit a visit. It's on until October so there's still plenty of time to get down (or up, depending on your global orientation relative to 'tha Toon'). Helen and I really enjoyed it and it's very likely that I'll be going back again, especially as they're continually adding to it (would it be too much to hope they install the Pandorica?). Admission is a tenner, and for that you also get access to the other exhibits, rides and planetarium. If you're a fan, casual viewer, or just someone who appreciates the time, effort and detail that goes into making a TV show, then it's definitely worth the money.

Grandpa T-Rex...

...likes to go to the park and strike up arguments with complete strangers over which kind of cake smells best.

*Inspired by real-life events.

Monday, 5 July 2010

Grandpa T-Rex...

...comes from a time when smoking was cool.