Tired of getting lower marks than you deserve?
Want to send a story off to a Publisher but worried what they'll think of it?
Then simply print off this label, stick it on the front of your work and voila! you'll be protected against overly-harsh criticism! ANTI-CRITIC Version 3.1 is the perfect way to defend your short stories, novels and novellas against unfair reviews. As well as trusted Anti-Critic software, Version 3.1 also comes with an improved 'Adjective Filter' to limit pesky adjectives in your text, a 'Narrative Meter' that detects and quarantines any overly-long sections of narrative, and the classic 'Innuendo Converter', which roots out any accidental innuendo.
With ANTI-CRITIC Version 3.1 you need never worry about the quality of your prose ever again!
And if you wish to protect your work further then UPGRADE to ANTI-CRITIC Version 3.2, which features improved versions of all current software, plus a new 'Plot Hole Filler', which seeks out annoying plot holes and corrects them at the click of a button!