Friday, 17 July 2009

Operation: Feisty Feline! (or, How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the Inspiration of the Pub)

Undoubtedly, the pub is the womb of mad ideas. As if in proof of this statement, it was at a public house the other night that some friends and I came up with perhaps our maddest idea of all time: and idea which also happened to be the 'Greatest Super-Weapon of All Time!'.
You know those waving cats you have in Chinese restaurants? Well, we thought "if one of those thing was about fifty feet high (or even higher) and put on tank treads then it could become an awesome super-weapon of terrible destruction!". That's right, we actually began talking about the prospect of a giant luck-symbol as a megalomaniacal tool. But think about it: with enough size and force behind it, that enormous waving hand could crush a car or a building or a person. It would be like an unstoppable waving Godzilla! Soon, on the back of a beer mat, I was sketching blueprints for Operation: Feisty Feline as people threw in suggestion after suggestion: 'Rocket launcher in its chest!', 'Flames come out of its mouth!', 'No, make it bigger!', 'Put undepants on it!'. The ideas flowed thick and fast, until the beer mat blueprints were complete and we had before us a vehicle of unimaginable destructive force.
And then I went home and drew this artist's impression of our 'Giant Waving Cat of Destruction'. And here it is...

As you can see, it's attacking the early 1950s. Well, it was a simpler time.

Now if only we had several billion dollars and some engineering/ mad-science/ world domination degrees we could stand a chance of building this crazy contraption. Also, if we knew how to send it back in time that might help too. And, as it's ideally made out of solid 24k gold it'd be nice if we could lay our hands on some of that.

Okay, the fact it's completely fictional and nigh-on unbuildable (despite what some may say!) is beside the point. The point is that which I mentioned in the very first sentence: the pub is the place where mad ideas are born and nourished. And the world would be a far far sadder place without the whimsy, hilarity and craziness that a kindly environment and a few drinks provide. Whether you're creating a story, cartoon, play, TV show or enormous waving cat weapon, the company of good friends and some delicious liquor will always provide you with inspiration.

So go, grab some mates, find your nearest pub, and let the crazy ideas commence!


Cassandra said...

A raised left paw, like the one you got there, is supposed to attract 'customers'... um...

A raised left paw would be to attract money, which would help with that bulk 24k gold purchase.

I'm just saying.

Whoever decided to put underpants on it is a genius.